Empowerment Spotlight: Marion Ingram
by Katie McLaughlin
In our lives, we are empowered to make our own decisions, choose our own path, and speak up for our needs. When we do so, we often feel better about the outcomes. As we age, preparing for life’s inevitable circumstances is critical. It is not uncommon for older adults to feel forced into an assisted living community. That is why it is vital for individuals to plan early for future living arrangements while independent, prior to the onset of long-term health struggles that often accompany aging. As part of the UMC family, w are a nonprofit, faith-based, assisted living community in Ocean City, NJ. Over 60% of our residents are independent. At The Shores, we value compassion, respect, stewardship, and service. We strive to incorporate these values into our work, ensuring that our residents have a continuum of care and the best possible living experience that we can provide for them.
Marion Ingram is an 87-year-old woman residing at The Shores, A UMC Community. I sat down with her to discuss her experience in transitioning into assisted living as a life-enhancing decision rather than a passive response to aging. I wondered what prompted her to be proactive in choosing where she wanted to live before someone else made the decision for her. On what made her finalize her decision to come to The Shores, she states, “It’s the best one in the area!”
Along with that, Marion states that the key factor in choosing the right assisted living community is location, and she thinks that is true for most of the residents that live at The Shores. Marion embodies empowerment. She exercises every day, does state advocacy work, and even drives. She is also part of a poker club outside of The Shores and has plans to implement it into the monthly activity calendar! She aims to improve her life in every possible way.
She touches on a conversation with her children about her early decision to move to an assisted living community. “My children often ask me why I made the decision to leave my home, which was attached to the real estate office where they worked. They would check on me after they closed the office and say, ‘You got it made! Why would you leave there and come in here?’ And I said because of the social stuff in here, you have to form a new network.” Marion emphasized the importance of socialization and how it is a necessity for life.
According to a peer reviewed journal from PLOS Medicine, Sommerlad et al. argued that “…Socialization is well understood as an integral part of maintaining cognitive function and overall emotional wellbeing” (as cited in Hagstrom et al., 2021, p. 10-11). Marion states, “Try everything a couple times. You can’t do them all—you can pick out what you like, but you’ve got to try them first. That’s why bingo is so important, because every time somebody wins, they call out their name. You connect the name to the person, and you get a chance to congratulate them in the hall for the rest of the day! You get to talk to them that way.”
The Shores offers a wide variety of activities that cover almost every dimension of wellness, including but not limited to—intellectual, physical, social, and spiritual. She makes a great point about how to take that first step and feel empowered to make new friends. “I have been here for five months, and the first two months, I went to The [dining services], and every time I went in, I’d look to see where there was an opening across from somebody so I could go up and say, ‘Hi, is somebody coming to eat with you or could I sit here?’ I meet a lot of people that way.” Marion is warm and welcoming. She encourages residents to step out of their comfort zone and feel empowered to try something new. plays puzzles all day. After exercise, I started talking to him. I was going out to classes in Avalon at night and coming back at 8:30pm, and he’s still there working on the puzzle. Then I dragged him to exercise even though he claimed that he really doesn’t like exercise. But alas, he’s there every morning now! I do those things all the time around here. Some people just need a little more push to get started.” Marion takes seven exercise classes a week, even though they were not a part of her routine prior to living at The Shores. She says, “I do not like exercise, but here, it is a social event.”
In addition to Marion’s daily attendance at her exercise classes, she is also a member of the American Association of Retired Persons State Advocacy Board (AARP) and has lectured at local Chapters in South Jersey. Marion has participated in state-level advocacy work for at least a decade. She expands on her activities, explaining, “I would give the monthly report on what AARP is doing legislative-wise for us. In the last ten years, I have been working on lowering the cost of drugs. Thousands of people were calling their national and state congressmen. Now there is a $2000 limit for the year. Beyond that, cancer drugs are free. Currently, we are working on lowering the local electric rates for bills in New Jersey. It is a national problem that has just hit us faster here.”
I asked Marion what brings her the most joy in her current living situation. She says, “It’s a feeling of contentment more than joy. It’s knowing that you don’t have to cook meals anymore, you don’t have anything that you really have to do other than show up at meals you want to eat. It’s very nice to know that we will be here for the rest of our lives and that there’s everything here to take care of us when we need it. We don’t have to worry about any of that. This is a continuing care community, so I am going to be here until the day I die. This is my new home, my community—it’s everything. I’m 87. Once I’m over 90, who knows? I am going to try to hold on for as long as I can. When I can’t, I’ve got a community, I’ve got people I know. I see that people who end up going to Tapestries, [memory care] those who have known them for years go and visit them…I tell new people coming in, talk to everybody you see. You’re not going to remember their names, none of us do! You just say to them, ‘I forget your name again, what is it?’ How they are going to react to being here in the first month decides how they are going to live here.”
It was a privilege to have the opportunity to speak with Marion. She is kind, bright, and a great conversationalist! She cares deeply about how she spends her time, and she is truly making a difference at The Shores and her local communities alike.
We should all strive to live like Marion and feel empowered to make decisions early to enhance our quality of life. You’ll always miss your home—but at The Shores, it won’t be long before you feel at home again. Moving is never easy, especially from a place filled with memories. At The Shores, we honor that feeling—and gently replace it with new memories, caring connections, and a true sense of belonging. Home isn’t just a place. It’s where you feel safe, supported, and known. What steps can you take that will lead you to feel empowered? What pivotal questions should you ask to take charge of your life and ensure continuum of care? Perhaps your answers are right here at The Shores.
References
Hagstrom, C., Heppner, A. G., & Kunde, K. N. (2021). The Effects of Socialization on the Progression of Dementia [Masterʼs thesis, Bethel University]. Spark Repository. https://spark.bethel.edu/etd/696
Sommerlad, A., Sabia, S., Singh-Manoux, A., Lewis, G., & Livingston, G. (2019). Association of social contact with dementia and cognition: 28-year follow-up of the Whitehall II cohort study. PLOS Medicine, 16(8), e1002862. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1002862
